March 14, 2007
I have taken down the calendar. It only enraged and terrified me. Despite that, my own brain has turned traitor and marks off the days of her absence. Every bit of me cries out for her, the beast whispers that, again, I have been left just as Lavi left me. It rages within at being once more denied. I cannot believe she would do such a thing, I absolutely cannot. It has to be tearing at her as insistently as it is me.
I begin to fear the worst, that perhaps some trouble has befallen her. I know that she yet lives at least and that is the only thing keeping me going this night. My heart may be cold and dead, but T still burns within it and I refuse to fall prey to the ravings and whispered insinuations of a starved beast.
I can no longer wait, it is time for action. Perhaps I will find her well and happy and annoyed at my hunting her down. So be it. I would rather face her ire than fail to act and lose her. I have no idea where to begin to look and as such, I will have to go to Lavi. She has far more resources than I and may have heard something somewhere. I know her feelings for T, I know her sentiments at being left aside for another by yours truly. If she will not do this for T, her own family, I have to pray that she will do it for me whatever it takes to convince her. Something tells me that time grows short and it is time to go.
