Behind The Mirror

Vegas.- Sitting at Dante’s watching him I can once again feel the howls of the Beast as it cries for satisfaction. Just a few more minutes, T, and the cavalry will arrive. They are coming in now, even Dusty, God bless her. Our family and hers may have had our differences in the past but she is truer family now than many who carry our blood. I can feel myself fairly humming in anticipation, the air of expectancy prompting Dusty to remind me to keep my cool as she refuses to be the one to tell Lavi I did not make it back. Ironic coming from one of Gangrel blood, but she always did look out for me.

It’s time to go. He is leaving with his nightly victim. If she knew what lay ahead, she would pray for death as it would be far more preferable to the things she is about to see. The girls have gone ahead to get inside and Baptiste and I follow Jago, the devil that will fall in the face of his ego and my determination this night.

Once at the estate, Dusty sniffed them out to the basement. Her warning that she smelled blood could not even begin to describe the horror we found upon reaching the cellar. There we found my beloved T staked to a cross, Jago close at hand with a dagger to her throat. She was cut and bitten all over, her life draining from her as the vitae dripped to the floor drop by precious drop. As we watched, the dagger was buried in her throat, his vicious taunts ringing in my ears. I could not look at you then T, as much as it saddens me to admit it, for to see you at that moment – to see the evidence of his attentions – was to lose all semblance of sanity.

The next few minutes are still a blur as we lunged for him. In the end, he lay staked beneath me, his throat in my hands as I had so often seen it in my dreams. I felt the world slipping away with my control and only the firm words of Dusty and Baptiste pulled me back. He was right, of course. Such vile blood should be spilt and never allowed to taint those of us who still walk, and we kept T from the Amaranth she so craved for that same reason.

I sent them all out so that I could start the blaze that would finish him, a death he would see approaching but be powerless to stop. I did not tell the rest what else took place in those few minutes I was alone with Jago, but I will say here that he felt some of the same agonies that he inflicted on T. I left his eyes, though…I wanted him to see my face in his last dying moments, and to know that in the end, I was the victor and that the one thing he wanted most would never be his, denied by my hand.

And so here we are, in Rebecca’s room at the Safe. It still seems unreal that T is back and safe, despite her current state. It will take some time to recover from the weeks of torture and I will be at her side every moment. She is sleeping now, so frail and broken, in the bed beside me as I write. Her body is beginning to heal, how long before her soul does the same? He will no longer torment you, Rromni, never again touch you…except perhaps in those dark dreams that are sure to come in the wake of such terror. My lovely T, why did it take me so long to sense things had gone so horribly wrong? I can only trust that deep inside, you know I did the best I could and in the end, redeemed myself.

Baptiste, Dusty, Rhapsody, and Lavi….they will never know the true depths of my gratitude for their services tonight. I will see this scene in my mind for an eternity and even as I write it is still so fresh in my mind that once again I feel the rage churning within. Even as the words flow from my pen, it is not the page I see but the events of this wretched night and I am back there, this room fading, the nightmare rising…

Vegas.- I’m sitting in a back booth at a bar called Dante’s and watching the thing I loathe more than anything I ever have in my long life. It is a pity that the words here do not give adequate depth to the feelings behind them. Suffice it to say that his very presence in the room makes my fingers itch to grab him, dispense with him with all due haste. But I promised Dusty I would play it cool and I have to, somehow, restrain myself for now. But not for long…another day or so and it will be time. I just hope T can hold out that long…

The ‘thing’ is Jago. Pretty to look at, he draws the mortals like a magnet but they do not see his black heart and rotted soul, do not know what I know of him, cannot foresee the unbearable atrocities in their future if they continue to fly too close to the flame. He has her and I know where. Violca confirmed it, warned me time was short. As I write this, the troops are on the way…Baptiste, his childe Rhapsody, and Dusty.

Dusty…I promised I’d keep my cool, keep it together and I am trying, kid. It’s getting so difficult as to be near impossible as I sit watching him laugh and lure in another victim like some deadly spider, knowing he has T and doing god knows what to her. I will keep my promise to you somehow, just as I will keep my promise to myself to return you home to Leo in one piece.

But oh, it’s hard. I hear your voice in my head and I hang on to it, but oh, it’s hard…

I met with Lavi tonight and it was every bit as difficult as I had anticipated. She is cut to the core over the distance that separates us now and in typical Lavi fashion, played it off in a sarcastic and snide manner. She always did do that to keep anyone from really seeing what she felt inside but I have known her too long to be misled. Part of me felt a pang of regret that this time I was the cause of it, but then I looked back on the months she was gone and the agony I endured and it passed.

Naturally, we traded insults, with several aimed at T coming from her as well – even going so far as to call her ‘my little whore’ when I slipped and said that T would never wander given our relationship being what it is now. I am sure she suspects we are bound, though I did not elaborate. No matter what Lavi means to me, that was too much. I fought for control from that moment till I walked out the door.

She made it plain she cared little what happened to T, family or not. I even accused her of sending me on a wild goose chase so that when I did not find T, and she never made it home, I could satisfy myself that I had tried and come back to Lavi for comfort. Finally, I had to break down….admit to Lavi that I needed her and I could not do it without her. I could tell that little victory tasted so very sweet to her. She told me to go to Vegas and see Violca, that there were whisperings of some of us there and she would be able to tell me if anything was up. Gave me a necklace to take to her too.

I thanked Lavi but I had one moment of ego and I went back, asked her if this was where I apologized for hurting her. When she replied that I should only if I meant it, something in me just could not do it. My exact words were ‘not gonna happen’. It was then that she slammed me into the wall and I decided I was wasting time when I needed to be on the road.

So there it is. I am on my way to Vegas, hoping against hope Vi has something for me. I know I am going to owe Lavi big for this but that can be dealt with later. T is what is important now.

Hold on Love….I’m coming…

I have taken down the calendar. It only enraged and terrified me. Despite that, my own brain has turned traitor and marks off the days of her absence. Every bit of me cries out for her, the beast whispers that, again, I have been left just as Lavi left me. It rages within at being once more denied. I cannot believe she would do such a thing, I absolutely cannot. It has to be tearing at her as insistently as it is me.

I begin to fear the worst, that perhaps some trouble has befallen her. I know that she yet lives at least and that is the only thing keeping me going this night. My heart may be cold and dead, but T still burns within it and I refuse to fall prey to the ravings and whispered insinuations of a starved beast.

I can no longer wait, it is time for action. Perhaps I will find her well and happy and annoyed at my hunting her down. So be it. I would rather face her ire than fail to act and lose her. I have no idea where to begin to look and as such, I will have to go to Lavi. She has far more resources than I and may have heard something somewhere. I know her feelings for T, I know her sentiments at being left aside for another by yours truly. If she will not do this for T, her own family, I have to pray that she will do it for me whatever it takes to convince her. Something tells me that time grows short and it is time to go.

And so the trend continues. Fourteen days past due. I know, I of all people know, how our family is about wandering off and doing whatever comes to mind. I know I have done it to her enough times, but she never seemed the type. Not now, after so long waiting…and especially without calling. The 28 on the calendar is burning itself into memory, black as night, black as…well I am not going there. Two weeks is not so bad, my last wandering was four months, and she welcomed me back with open arms, without question. Still, the hunger for her grows and despite my best intentions, I begin to worry. This is all too familiar ground and the similarity to Lavi is frightening. Still, it has only been two weeks and T will never be like Lavi. A little more time…surely I can give her that before I panic. So I wait as I can do little else just yet.

Lazarus. The thought of Rebecca’s boy always brings a smile to my face. Laz my friend, I miss the hell out of you, especially this week. I sure could use one of your jokes right about now – and I’d only have to say one word as to why and you would understand.

Valentine’s Day. I know our kind doesn’t usually hold much with the old mortal ceremonies and such but I find myself, again, staring at the calendar, which is getting to be a disturbing trend. T’s been gone for a couple of days visiting with her friend, but she insisted she would be back for Valentine’s Day saying she has something special for me. I had actually planned something for her too. She has always wanted to have the city at her feet and Vic arranged to reserve the deck up on top of McMaster’s Place Tower for us. Just us with the world at our feet and no wandering eyes.

When T had not appeared by the time I was up and around, I figured they were having such a good time she wanted to stay on and that’s okay. She needs her fun, she’s had a rough year. However, despite my casual words, here I am, another number on the calendar mocking me. I do not suppose I need a special day to let her know how I feel, but it seemed fitting. I do not say it , but I hope she knows. And not that she will ever see this but it also seems fitting that I say it here first as my life is in these pages.

I love you T…hurry home.

Well here it is. I have been avoiding the thought of it but now I am sitting here staring at the calendar, my eyes drawn to the date like a compass to true north. The number on the page looks so benign and yet it is astounding how a simple printed number could carry such weight, could be such a painful reminder. Even now I can hear the storm in my mind, her knock at the door, the horrifying memories she stirred up…and the secret that was to bind us as surely as we gave in and bound each other.

She said it was all about protection, insurance that I would never reveal it but I know that, deep down, Lavi was so alone, so hungry for someone to hang on to and I fit the bill nicely. She’s always said she trusted me above anyone given all we’ve been through so I guess it was inevitable. And a mistake.

Now, looking back after it’s all over I am convinced of that. I finally became myself again and things are getting back to something approaching normal. At least until today. It seems like some huge cosmic joke that, after being gone for so long again, she reappears on the anniversary of that step that led us down a path that has so damaged the both of us. At least Lavi was civil and businesslike when we saw her tonight and if she suspects the bond T and I now share, she gave no indication. But that’s Lavi – you never know what lurks beneath that cool, affected exterior.

Things at home are fine. T is a saint and it’s all working out just as I had hoped all these long years of waiting for her. She seems to have adjusted decently well to the loss of Terrence and so we go on, making our way together.

Not much else of note except that T is going away for a couple of days to visit an old circus friend she has not seen in ages.

This is a work of fiction, a journal based on the in-character unlife and events surrounding Downtown Louie, a vampire character in a role-playing game. This page, Come Sundown, is the current year. I am slowly adding the previous year on the All Good Things page.