Behind The Mirror

I arrived home tonight to find T dancing in the downstairs den. Mesmerizing is the word that comes to mind, and I barely managed to close the door before I was captivated. She is all liquid motion and grace, the movements as natural to her as breathing to those who are still mortal. It’s as if the music took form and that form is T…sultry and spellbinding. She told me that Terrence always loved to watch her dance, and I can understand why. I evenadmitted that, although I still cannot bring myself to say his name. At least tonight the mention of him did not bring with it the usual wave of anger, though the regret he stirs in me over lost time will, perhaps, never leave me.

But tonight, I am calm. I have had my monthly ego-pricking from Leo and I have to say I love the man for it. Friends are those who will make you feel good; true friends are those who will tell it to you straight for your own good. In the aftermath of the blow up with T, things are good, much as the air is cleared after a violent storm. Granted, you don’t need too many of those but they do happen from time to time and it paves the way for greater understanding.

T and I…we know far too many soft spots in each other, and the bond only complicates it. We must be careful, and as Leo said, honest. I know I tend to want to gloss over things to spare her feelings and her worry and perhaps that is not the best course. It is fear T, pure and simple. Fear that if I do tell you, you will do what you almost did last night and leave me if you see all my demons. That brings us back to trust though…trust that you love me enough for it not to matter. Trust that you will still love me in spite of it. Terrence is once again in my mind where he has become a frequent visitor of late. He tried to give you the world and yet, no matter how much he tried, you were always drawn back here…back to me.

When I am honest, it seems too good to be true, but I take you at your word for I feel it, see it in everything you do. Trust, T….I have started down that road. No more secrets…